Coeliac rant

Thank you all of your supportive comments below but there are a few things that I want to clarify, not necessarily with any of you but just because I keep repeating the same conversations with lots of people. Being coeliac and vegan are not really similar, I seriously never found going vegan hard because it was a choice I made, and there were many reasons that I went vegan, that I am passionate about. This isn't something that I am passionate about, I'm not helping the environment, animals etc and it's not really a choice, it's something that I sadly have to do but really don't want to. Also, to everyone who says that I should stop being vegan to make it easier, I'm not going to do that, so don't even think about it.

So I might complain a lot for a little while, before I go back to being positive me. I will go back to being happy me I promise. Although I've read that even after I adjust, there will still be days that will be frustrating. It's seriously a lot harder that you might imagine and I know it will get easier but right now it's not good. It's mostly because I am discovering all sorts of stupid things that have gluten in them, and kind of grieving for all foods that I won't be able to eat. It's weird, I will be in the shower, or on the computer and then just random foods will come into my head and I will yell out to toby 'ohhh funky pies', or 'ohhh tofutti cuties' or 'puff pastry' and then sigh. It's also not the food, but the emotional stuff that is linked to the foods. Like being able to just grab a salad sandwich when I'm out in the middle of nowhere, and eating fry's sausages in hotdog buns when we can't be bothered cooking, or eating ninja vegan jelly beans in our work meetings and listing all my favourite coloured jellybeans in order because it keeps changing (white is my current fav), and making Oreo cupcakes for almost all of my family events several times a year because they get disappointed if I made any other variety and growing up eating BBQ shapes and then discovering the exciting fact that they are in fact vegan.

It is also looks like it might be expensive, I even read online that I need to get a new toaster. Also, I'm still sick, in fact I seem to be worse at the moment as my body slowly starts to adjust to my massive change in diet, I really used to eat a lot of gluten! I still haven't seen the specialist, but I have read it could take a while of eating g/f before my health is perfect. So it's not like I can see instant results. And you know when you are sick, you want comfort food and my comfort sick food is toast with vegemite, and vegemite isn't even gluten free. I've still got to have lots of tests including a biopsy and check that I haven't done any major damage to my bowel/intestines and see if I have any of the related coeliac problems. It's a lot more serious than I initially thought. And everything that I read online seems to say that I should never have even small amounts of gluten, because even small amounts can do damage to my body, so apparently it's not a case of having a little bit here and there, although some people do it. Also, people talk about being 'glutened' which sounds a lot like us vegans with dairy. Once you give up dairy, even if you are not dairy intolerant and you accidentally have a little bit, you body tends to overact. So after giving it up for a while, the reactions might be even more obvious to even small amounts of gluten. Also, I personally think having little bits here and there might be harder since I won't be able to forget how awesome regular bread is.

I read this good article online about the emotional impacts of being celiac and some of it has already resonated with me. It's a little alienating because I normally have lots of vegan and vegetarian friends who completely understand any eating issues that I have and I normally have vegan and very friendly restaurants where I can eat almost everything. Now when I chat with people, I feel like people don't really allow me to complain about foods that I can't eat, and keep wanting to talk about the positive stuff that I can eat, but I need to talk about both. I will get to a place where I just talk about the positive stuff, but I'm not there yet. It's all brand new to me, remember! Also, most of the omni places that I used to go to had vegan options that generally tended to not also be g/f. Also, I can't imagine many of my omni friends inviting me over to dinner anytime soon. If they thought it was hard feeding a vegan, now it's going to be extra hard for them. Even reading vegan food blogs, it a little sad right now, so you might not see that many comments from me because I still don't know how to adjust everything to be g/f. In same ways it actually seems easier to read g/f omni blogs because I don't crave meat than to read vegan blogs, isn't that weird?

On a more positive note, I really want to thank Steph for making me gluten free chocolate jam muffins yesterday. It was so nice to have freshly baked delicious gluten free things, I was so touched I almost cried but then proceeded to scoff 3 down in a very short period of time forgetting about my nausea and upset stomach and ending up with chocolate all over my face. They were delicious and it was extremely comforting!

Now I need some gluten free advice because I am don't want to spend another $60 on gluten free products that we both dislike. I'm looking for:

* a filling but nice vegan cereal, I love cocoa bombs but have found that 1 hour later I am starving

* vegemite replacement. There is 'vegie spread' and 'mightymite' that are both g/f but i'm not sure which one tastes good. I normally would eat sanitarium marmite because it contains b12 but neither seem to have it.

* tasty gluten free muesli type bars. I tried aribar's but they taste like fruit juice and not in a good way.

* are there any accidentally vegan lollies that are also gluten free that I can get at any supermarket?

* has anyone tried making the moist chocolate mud cake packet mixture?

Thanks for listening to me whinge, I think I needed to get a lot off my chest and now I better go back to my thesis world.